wookie_x: just me (Default)
Ok, so I broke down a little while back and created a facebook account. I've been taking the random little quizzes, being amused by them. I took one, who is my guardian angel. The result came back as the Archangel Kamael. Their text was this:

"Kamael, his name meaning "he who sees God", he is listed as one of the seven truly powerful Angels who have the great honor of standing in the very presence of God. O...riginally the God of War in Druid mythology, he is frequently referred to as the ruler of the planet Mars, as well as one of the governing Angels of the seven planets. Kamael serves as the mediator, taking prayers of Israel before the Angelic princes residing in the seventh heaven. Appears as a warrior dressed in a red tunic. He wears green armour plates, an iron helmet and has large green wings. He carries a scale of justice. The most impressive trait of this Archangel is his knowledge of Karma. Kamael can show you how to make up for bad karma and how to purify yourself in this incarnation. He teaches that there are many point of view to be honoured. Helps you to make justice decisions where your point of view is combined with others. He carries a message dont judge yourself harshly and dont be too demanding."

Ok, I did a little more reading. I found a website that talks about it, and read:

"The Archangel Kamael is the ruling entity of Mars and the sphere of Geburah. His day is Tuesday, he is of the Angelic Order of Seraphim. To understand Kamael we must look at his various aspects."

Now, this was all done on a whim. I'm mostly an atheist. I believe if there IS something we would call a god out there, it's not at all what most religions have in mind. That being said, I was a bit shocked by this. For instance, I was born on a Tuesday. My astrological sign is Libra, the scales. My favorite color? Green. I have a distinct affinity for the old Celtic beliefs. Maybe it is all a coincidence. It certainly has me thinking, though.

Next....

Sep. 13th, 2009 11:44 am
wookie_x: just me (Default)
It's now Sunday. On Friday (9/11/09) I got a letter from Social Security saying that they want me to come into their office, now that I've been approved and all. They want to know where I live, who I live with, my birth certificate, any pay stubs from the date of disability, and a whole bunch of stuff I don't even have. I know this is just to get stuff set up, and that I've already been approved, but it's making me very anxious. Just another hoop to jump through. I'm going to call the lawyers on Monday and see what they have to say about it. It's just a week away. It's not too long. Have I mentioned that I hate waiting?
wookie_x: just me (Default)
On 9/3/09 I received a brief from the lawyers office that they were faxing to the judge in charge of my disability case. This was a big step. It's already been more than a year, and I've been refused twice. If this didn't work, there would have to be a hearing. Well, I got a call from the lawyers about 2 hours ago. They got the word that my case had been approved. That's good news. What's also good is that they approved the disability date of November 2006, so I'll be getting a largish back payment in a lump sum. Now, so far there's nothing in my hands yet but I was told to be expecting lots of stuff from social security very soon. I'm hopeful that this will be a step forward, and if nothing else it'll mean a small income coming in. Good news? I'm still mixed on it, but I'm hopeful.
wookie_x: just me (Default)
Here I am not sleeping. I should try again, but I wanted to write a little first. It's been an interesting few weeks. The shrink has put me on a new medication, one that's normally for Parkinson's Disease patients. There has been some indication that it works on depression as well. I knew I'd be getting some different drugs when I agreed to be in this clinic. I'm just tired of feeling like shit. I got a new therapist too, Dr. Ferrerra. She's ok, I think. I've only had one session with her. It's too early to tell if we'll be getting along. Time will tell. I've also been talking to the lawyers about the disability case. The woman I talked to today seems to think we're in the home stretch on this. I've been trying to get some paperwork from UNM since the 11th of this month. It's stupid how much trouble I'm having getting my own records! I talked to the records department three times yesterday, and I'll be talking to them again today. We're waiting on that so the lawyer can send the brief to the judge. Hopefully it won't even get to hearings. I'm going to talk to the lawyer again, too. I never told them that I was denied entry in the Navy back in 1988 due to what they called "mental instability". It will probably be worth mentioning. If this comes through, I'm hoping to buy a Harley Davidson motorcycle. I miss riding. It truly was therapy for me. Fingers crossed. Well, time to try sleep again. G'night, spirits drifting in the aether!

good news

Jul. 13th, 2009 06:16 pm
wookie_x: just me (Default)
I haven't talked too much on this forum yet. I don't even think anyone is reading this as yet. That's not going to stop me from writing though. If nothing else, this is serving as my online diary for myself. I like my motorcycles. It's no great secret. When my 1979 Suzuki GS850 started making nasty sounds, I decided to check it out. I was convinced it was one of the valves, so I took the top end apart. I found it wasn't a valve or lifter. Unfortunately in the process, I broke off a bolt from one of the valve cam caps in the engine. These are pretty important, and I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Also in the back yard I have a 1979 GS1000L. New, it looked something like this:




At the moment, it's in pieces. The previous owner had laid it down and it's pretty banged up. It needs a new front brake reservoir, points, the fuel tank is banged up and needs to be repainted, and when I was removing the exhaust manifold I managed to break off MORE bolts. 5, to be exact. Sometimes I'm stubborn to the point of stupidity, and this time it meant broken bolts. Well, I managed to get a new head with NO broken bolts. I got it cleaned up, and I've been pretty much at a stand-still. Actual employment has been fairly impossible due to problems I've described in here already. There is a disability claim in the works, but that takes it's own time. It's not unusual for these things to take a year or more. With no income, purchasing parts becomes difficult. The rebuilding of the 1000 has been at a standstill until now. I just got a phone call from my parents. I'm told that they're sending me enough cash to get the gasket set I need to get working on the bike again. This is, indeed, good news.
wookie_x: just me (Default)
The last week or so haven't been that much fun. I've been trying to stay busy, but it's rough. To give you an idea of what I've been feeling, imagine you're in the middle of the ocean. You can't see land. You can't feel bottom. You're just floating there, alone. Now imagine being there for a week. Imagine feeling that uncertainty, and even fear of the unknown. This is the best way I can think of to describe it. I haven't worked on any projects and every chance I get to get away, to be with friends, I do just for the distraction so I won't have to think. Day by day, that's how I have to keep going. Day by day.
wookie_x: just me (Default)
Well, on June 25, 2009 Michael Jackson died at age 50. I'm not going to discuss any of the allegations of the last years. I'm not interested. But it did get me thinking. I didn't know any of the details of his death. I'd heard he died of a heart attack. He was 10 years older than me. My mind went to work inventing what I imagined to be the circumstances of his death. Knowing he was reclusive, and that heart attacks are frequently NOT immediately fatal (statistics show only about 5%). So I assumed that he was alone when he had the heart attack, and wasn't found for some time. That got me thinking about my own health and reclusive nature. I don't want to die alone. Years ago, a friend of a friend in Missouri died. It was summer time, he was alone, and the body wasn't found for weeks. I can't stand the thought of ending up like that. The problem is, as I grow older, my reclusive nature becomes stronger and I don't know how to stop that. It's something that I'll have to work on, among all my other self-improvement projects.

[It should be noted that most of my initial imaginings surrounding the circumstances of his death were completely false.]
wookie_x: just me (Default)
Ok, thanks to a friend of mine I've got this new blog account. Right now I'm just setting it up. I'll fill it out more as the spirit moves me.

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September 2009

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