on depression and anxiety

The last week or so haven't been that much fun. I've been trying to stay busy, but it's rough. To give you an idea of what I've been feeling, imagine you're in the middle of the ocean. You can't see land. You can't feel bottom. You're just floating there, alone. Now imagine being there for a week. Imagine feeling that uncertainty, and even fear of the unknown. This is the best way I can think of to describe it. I haven't worked on any projects and every chance I get to get away, to be with friends, I do just for the distraction so I won't have to think. Day by day, that's how I have to keep going. Day by day.

good news

I haven't talked too much on this forum yet. I don't even think anyone is reading this as yet. That's not going to stop me from writing though. If nothing else, this is serving as my online diary for myself. I like my motorcycles. It's no great secret. When my 1979 Suzuki GS850 started making nasty sounds, I decided to check it out. I was convinced it was one of the valves, so I took the top end apart. I found it wasn't a valve or lifter. Unfortunately in the process, I broke off a bolt from one of the valve cam caps in the engine. These are pretty important, and I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Also in the back yard I have a 1979 GS1000L. New, it looked something like this:




At the moment, it's in pieces. The previous owner had laid it down and it's pretty banged up. It needs a new front brake reservoir, points, the fuel tank is banged up and needs to be repainted, and when I was removing the exhaust manifold I managed to break off MORE bolts. 5, to be exact. Sometimes I'm stubborn to the point of stupidity, and this time it meant broken bolts. Well, I managed to get a new head with NO broken bolts. I got it cleaned up, and I've been pretty much at a stand-still. Actual employment has been fairly impossible due to problems I've described in here already. There is a disability claim in the works, but that takes it's own time. It's not unusual for these things to take a year or more. With no income, purchasing parts becomes difficult. The rebuilding of the 1000 has been at a standstill until now. I just got a phone call from my parents. I'm told that they're sending me enough cash to get the gasket set I need to get working on the bike again. This is, indeed, good news.